Some children experience difficulties in making adjustments. Play therapy provides an opportunity for them to work through these problems in a permissive situation. Adults find relief in talking over their difficulties with a caring therapist. Usually children cannot express their thoughts and feelings in words, but can find release through various forms of play. Since a child’s fears and anxieties have been built up during past experiences with significant other close persons - parents, teachers, brothers and sisters the child has very little opportunity to explore and examine these feelings in either the home or school situation. Play therapy can offer a unique relationship with an objective and accepting adult who is not in a position to “use” any disclosures for or against the child in any way. In order to ensure the privacy of this arrangement, it is essential that the child not feel any necessity to give an accounting of the events that occur in the playroom. This should be viewed as the child’s own private time (usually 30-50 minutes) with the therapist. For this reason, parents are asked to refrain from questioning the child about playroom activities, or from asking how the child liked it, if it was a good time and so forth. Occasionally, the child may bring home a drawing, painting, or other object made in the playroom. As these may often have a hidden meaning of which even the child is not aware, it is best, (1) not to question as to what it represents, (2) not to praise it as a “masterpiece,” or (3) not to criticize it or make suggestions for technical improvement. If the child offers it to you, accept it casually without much comment. In bringing the child for the first session, the child can be told that he or she will be coming each week to play with “Miss Joy” in the playroom. If the child questions further, as to the reasons for coming, just state that it seems to help children to have someone that they can talk to and play with all alone. More than that, be honest in stating that you do not know any more.

What You Need to Know When Your Child Attends Play Therapy

What is Play Therapy? When adults have emotional problems or when things begin to bother them so much that it is hard for them to think of other things, they go to a therapist to get help with solutions. Children don’t have the vocabulary or the insight of adults, so it is difficult for them to talk about the things that worry them. Therefore, therapy for children is held in a playroom where they can demonstrate their problems to the therapist.

When Does a Child Need Play Therapy?

All children exhibit what adults might call "abnormal behavior" from time to time. Parents usually get worried and begin seeking help when a child either exhibits the same abnormal behaviors for a long time, or when the child exhibits several abnormal behaviors at once. In general, it is wise to have the child checked first for a possible physical cause to the continuance or increase of abnormal behavior. If there is not an indication of physical cause or if medical treatment does not eliminate the abnormal behaviors, therapy is indicated.

What if My Child Does Something "Bad" in Therapy?

There is much more freedom in the play therapy room than can be allowed in other areas of the child’s life. During the session, once a week, every thought and every action the child has is accepted (with exceptions of hurting him/herself, the therapist, or destroying property). This freedom is necessary so that the child will feel trusting enough to reveal fears and problems which have been kept bottled up inside. Therefore, there is no such thing as “bad” behavior in Play therapy.

Share Information with Your Therapist

It is often very helpful in therapy to know recent events and in the child’s life, especially those to which the child had reacted strongly. Please do not give the child the responsibility of reporting events. Telling the child to “be sure to tell your therapist . . . ” Puts pressure on the child and may seem like punishment. It would be much better if you could call before the child comes to therapy to tell the therapist yourself what you feel the therapist should know. You might also mention to your child, in an understanding way, that this, “ . . . may be something you will want to work on in therapy.”

Won't My Child Expect Me to Allow as Much at Home as There is in Therapy?

No. Even very young children quickly learn that there are different rules in different places. They know the limits you expect and even though all children test those limits from time to time, they will not expect what the therapist allows one hour once a week to become their normal way of living. If your child happens to test your limits by telling you that he or she can do that in therapy, simply remind the child that the rules are different at home.

What if My Child Changes for the Worse After Therapy?

Childhood is a time of change. Children go through developmental stages, some of which are pleasant, and some of which are trying. Children with problems often get “stuck” in an immature stage of development. Once they begin therapy and get relief from some of their problems, they will begin going through normal stages of development (sometimes quite rapidly) until they “catch up” with where they should be. This may mean that a child’s behavior might appear “worse” temporarily. This is a sign of progress; be thankful for it. The therapist can refer you to books on normal childhood stages of development if you have additional questions.

Other Possible Behavior Changes

There are other possible reasons for behavior changes. One reason might be some new event in the child’s life to which he or she is reacting. Also, on occasion children get to a critical point in therapy where memories that have been hidden for a long time come rushing to the surface. Children react differently when this occurs. Some are very relieved and excited while others are ill at ease until they are able to work on the memories in therapy and accept them as part of their past. Some may spend a great deal of time “daydreaming” for a few weeks. The child may have trouble sleeping. He or she may be irritable or may be giddy and find it hard to calm down. Being patient and giving the child some space for a while will probably help most at this time. Please let Ms. Anderson know about any rapid behavior change.

How Will I Know What My Child Does in Therapy?

Basically, you won’t. Therapy is successful mainly because the child learns to trust the therapist never to reveal what is said or done in therapy. The child is told that what he or she does in the playroom is not shared with anyone. At the same time, the child knows that the parent will meet with the therapist. No child will feel free to express him (her) self completely if the child thinks “Mom or dad will find out!” Confidence is necessary to ensure freedom of self expression which is essential for play therapy to be effective. Progress and general issues will be discussed with the parent without sharing specifics.

Am I to Blame for My Child's Problems?

Most people tend to assume guilt if something goes wrong, especially to those for Belmont whom they feel responsible. One of the nice things about play therapy is that blame is never placed on anyone. The child simply learns to cope with his or her problems, whether they are real or imagined. In play therapy, the child works through those fears and problems that are upsetting, and the therapist never plays judge as to their beginnings. If you would like to learn new ways of handling children’s problems, the therapist can refer you to books on parenting.

How Do I Talk to My Child About Therapy After a Session?

Even though it is held in a playroom, children work very hard in therapy. The hardest work in the world is taking a hard look at yourself and at painful deep inside. Therefore, it is appropriate for you to say something like, “I bet that you are tired, you have been working hard for an hour.” Please try to avoid asking your child questions about the session. It is fine if children volunteer to discuss what they have just experienced. Some children are so excited about discoveries they had made about their feelings that they want to share them. However, all people are different. Some children want to be very quiet after therapy in order to keep thinking about the thoughts they began there. Others will leave the session and go about their lives as though that hour had not occurred. Regardless of their response after therapy, all children plan for the next session. So, please try to cooperate if they seem to need time for quiet thought a day or two before the next session.

Why Does My Child Need to Come Once a Week?

Sometimes parents wonder why they can’t just make an appointment when their child is demonstrating problems, and not come when everything is going fine. Unfortunately, therapy doesn’t work that way. The very fact that children do plan ahead for the next visit makes it necessary for the child to know that every “Tuesday at 2:00" (or whatever regular time and day) is his or her regular time. If changes in schedules must be made, they should be made during the first few sessions; then the day and time should remain the same each week. If changes should occur, please make sure to tell your child.